I chose London.. that’s where I am right now, and where I’ll be for a while yet.

The world is quite small but unfortunately not small enough for me to stay 100% up to date with what’s happening in Perth. So I would like to pass you on to the GayinWA blog. The owners have been great to me, so please support them!

Please also show your love to Pride WA and on the night of the Pride Parade support the local gay community by going to the OFFICIAL Pride Homecoming Party at Connections.

Besides, I heard through the grapevine that The Court has installed Nightkey ID scanners at the door… Can you imagine the violent written tyranny I would launch against Bree Maddox if I was still in Perth? It’s best I’m in London

1. Guy and girls start bumping into each other on front of podium
2. Guy spills drink on injured girls friend.
3. Injured girls friend falls back and steps down from podium okay.
4. Injured girl shoves guy hard off the podium and he lands down hard on concrete.
5. Guy grabs bottle/glass and chucks it at injured girls face.
6. Blood rapidly seeps from her face.
7. Guy goes off towards inside area.
8. Security and girl chase him.
9. Girl starts punching him and security seperate them.
10. Girl goes to bathroom.

Ambulance took forever and a day as always to get there… probably an hour and a bit after the actual event took place.

The venue hasn’t been receiving any of my money in a while now, so I don’t have a first hand account to go on - if anyone else was there please shoot me an email. Apparently a girl was stabbed with a broken bottle at around midnight, and the scene was serious enough to pull in an army of police officers, firemen and security guards. Subsequently half of the venue was closed down to the public.

(Photos by LM)

An SMS from a friend:

It was as Bree called it; a crime scene. I spoke to her she seemed really worried about the bad publicity and the loss of money!

… yeah who cares if the girl survives anyway. Luckily for Bree though, the attack at The Court has been completely overshadowed in today’s news by a different glass attack just down the road at the Elephant and Wheelbarrow, which happened the night before.

In fact, this other stabbing is getting so much of the attention the State government is considering a glass ban for problem venues. More good luck as The Court gets no mention in the news article. Is Bree’s relationship with the police working to her advantage or has word simply not filtered through to the media yet?

Either way, it’s another reminder that all pub venues experience violence issues and The Court is no exception. Lets end this post with a Facebook status update that appeared on my feed this morning. Stay safe on the weekends everyone.

Stabbing at the Court, venue closed by police at around midnight…now we know why I dont go there, on another note, awesome night at Connies. Yay! Bedtime now

Witness comment via facebook:

some girls were fighting in the female toilets and one got hella bashed up. came staggering out at me bleeding all over the place. poor girl, her head was covered in blood, just dripping everywhere

The feature gives great insight into the hardships, difficult decisions and determination involved same sex parenting; issues often overlooked by those who oppose, and indeed the wider general public. While trying not to drag the four of them into becoming a case study for political debate, the sharing of their journey gives ammunition in dispelling the many myths surrounding same sex parenting.

At first glance, this family flies in the face of many who argue that a child born, or adopted, to gay parents is at a disadvantage because of the lack of a male or female role model. … “We’ll raise our child with open-mindedness and we expect others to do the same and treat his family with the same respect that we expect our son to treat other family units” [said Marnie].

“At the end of the day we love Quinn more than anything,” says Josh. “Quinn is the priority and his wellbeing is number one… what form the family takes is irrelevant.”

All fantastic messages to be promoting. A personal annoyance of mine is the gap in justification between drugged up bogans from Rockingham, Gosnells, wherever, who can end up with an unwanted mistake pregnancy and be able to carry the baby, and committed same sex couples who really are dedicated to the raising of a child, but have to jump through many hoops to do so. Both are extreme ends of the spectrum but the point remains. The West Australian’s feature story also makes a few opposing argument grabs, and you know, I may be a seething atheist, but opposition to this topic always comes from religious family groups. (Keep reading after the cut).

While the best interests of the child are common ground, Australian Family Association WA president John Barich says a “real” mother and father, bonded by marriage, is ideal. “We think that marriage is essential, is intrinsic to the welfare of children,” he said. “To bring up children you’ve got to have marriage, there’s got to be some stability… these other relationships are less stable.”

Whatever. Well, the clear answer to this argument is to legalise gay marriage in Australia. That way this avenue of stability is actually available to same sex couples. You can’t make arbitrary comments that gay people hold less stable relationships when they’re not on the same playing field and have restricted access to the same societal frameworks (ie. marriage) that heterosexual couples have. Besides, are our bogan couple with their mistake baby going to get married and stay together forever? Likely not.

The AFA stance is backed by Right to Life Association WA president Peter O’Meara who said the situation may be detrimental in the long-term. “People are trying to promote this as normal and I think it really works against the child… because the child has no input, he’s just a product of what these people wanted…”

Which is one of the dumbest things I have ever read. I’m not sure if he would have preferred Leonie, Marnie and Josh set up a Foetus Focus Group; “Do you want to be born?”, but I’ve never met a child who got to decide who their parents are. The three have made it quite clear their actions are about bringing up a child they wanted, and not about gaining political ground.

Finally, the Greens MP Giz Watson brings a whole lot of common sense to the political arguments raised in the article:

“Less than 50 per cent of families are two married, heterosexuals who are both the biological parents of the children. We live in a time when there are a whole range of blended families… the critical thing is that it’s a supporting, loving and caring environment for kids to grow up in, not the sexuality of the people doing the parenting.”

It all launches 10pm Friday 24 July at the Republic (Corner Wellington and Shafto Lane), which you may be familiar with as the venue for the now very popular SEXY nights (a personal favourite of mine). Whereas ‘Love Sundays’ was a bit of a coosh plastic glam night, ‘Love Saves Fridays’ is all about the atmosphere, company and music: You can expect sounds of the 70s, including indie-funk and glam rock, with different mixes each week.

The night has been created by Petrosex and the team from Bourgeois Bogan, who have a solid reputation for great events in Perth. Anyone with SEXY experience will know these events are all about creating an inner-city haven, where you can just have a plain ‘ol good time without the BS. There is also word that Perth’s performance superstar Ash Baroque will be the evening’s hostess to ensure no unappreciatives enter the walls of Love Saves Fridays.

So if you’re growing weary of the decreasing crowds at the Maddox Mansion (hey, it happens in winter), then do head along to the launch of Love Saves Fridays. It’s something new and fresh, and will save your winter weekends with a bit of soul.

Be sure to download the Love Saves Fridays flyer and check them out on facebook.

That gag reflex picture of Bree Maddox sparked a fair amount of conversation this week. Namely, this blog post on PerthNow.

Should there come a point in your life where you should cover your “assets” up and start dressing more conservatively?

At first glance the post doesn’t actually mention Bree Maddox, then BANG name drops in the last few paragraphs, along with… HOLY BEJESUS A HIGH RESOLUTION VERSION OF THE PHOTO. Like all blogs run by massive old-media corporations the post offers no real insight, but there are some entertaining comments from readers.

When asking for those comments PerthNow’s Girlblogger chimes in “please don’t be biased this is about what she wears only. Try not to be offensive I don’t think she’d appreciate it. Cheers”. Despite the warning, PerthNow dosen’t seem to have anyone moderating reader comments:

I wish she would just go away and stop trying so hard to be a society girl. The papers should stop feeding her ego and calling her a socialite, she’s no more a socialite than I am, its a stupid self inflating term that has no substance, just like Bree. She’s just a tacky try hard who basically does not have what it takes to be attractive at all. No matter what she wears or what angle the photo takes her in, she is downright plain ugly. Still, what do you expect from a former Penthouse Pet! Go away Bree now and stay out of the papers!!!
Brianna of Western Suburbs
Wed 15 Jul 09 (01:41pm)

Harsh! Because I’m not a total asshole, here’s a photo of Bree looking quite nice actually.

“Shit. The maid forgot to take my haute couture dress to the drycleaners. Oh, that’s alright, I’ll just wear this piece of cloth I found on the ground after Amateur Drag Night at The Court.”

… and pictured with the Mayor of Perth too! Great work. I actually needed a tie-in to legitimise posting that photo, and here it is: Police cars clog restricted gay bar zones.

Perth City Council concedes its parking inspectors have no power to ticket police cars that clog no-standing and one-hour zones outside socialite Bree Maddox’s inner-city gay bar.

The article brings up a few points I agree with, particularly because I’ve personally seen police cars scream dangerously past the alfresco area outside The Court. Not to mention police motorcycles I have also seen mount the curb and then drive along the footpath. There only needs to be one tipsy person who takes a mistimed step and it could all go wrong.

Bree doesn’t comment in the article on account of The Court’s good relationship with the police, and I can appreciate why she didn’t. With police cars all around it gives The Court a sense of security. Although, I could be totally wrong and Bree was actually doing a bit of persuasion work at the Tarvydas store launch:

Bree Maddox: Oi, Lisa… get those police cars away from my bar or you’ll be sorry. There could be an unfortunate accidental gust of wind and my top will fly right off! It’s only secured by a rubber band and some scotch tape you know!

Lisa Scaffidi: Please, don’t do it Bree, I don’t want to see that! There’s nothing I can do… it’s out of the jurisdiction of our parking inspectors… pleeeease spare me!

Photographer: Ladies can I take your photo for STM magazine?

Bree Maddox: SMILE AND DON’T SAY A WORD LISA!

Of course that’s all a joke and never happened, or maybe…

I don’t know which tag line I like best: A night of sweet and sour eastern naughtiness! or Join the steamy throngs of Asia’s red light districts!. Either way, you’re going to get it on like a gangland geisha. Other dress ideas include lap dancers, ladyboys, ninjas, pole dancers, ping-pong artistes and Seoul sistas. I would LOVE to see some one dress up as a slutty ninja. I don’t exactly know how that would work but I’m sure it’s awesome. Your incentive to take on the slutty ninja challenge is the $250 prize which goes to the best dressed attendee.

If you like your dress up a little heavier, SPANK! are also putting on their next fetish and fantasy party: ‘Doctors and Nurses’ (web) on Saturday 22 August. The night will include a performance by top international fetish model Emily Marilyn, plus a Flesh Rubber ‘Medical Mayhem’ demo, Male Slave Strip, Dungeon, and Hysterical Healthchecks by Nurses Depravity & Deviance. I told you this dress up was a little heavier.

Unlike SHAMELESS!, the regular SPANK! parties have a very strict dress code so if you’re not in costume, no entry. Of course it’s an 18+ event and you’ll need to buy a ticket beforehand. All the details are on the SPANK! website.

I’ve previously written about The Ellington for Soho Nights (fb), their queer friendly evening. This time around though it was a different crowd, a different ’scene’. While Soho Nights is suave and relaxed, the Saturday Late Night Groove Series is energetic bop in your chair action. The atmosphere is rich, and in my lubricated state I could feel each and every person in the room tapping their feet or nodding their head in unison. One guy was enjoying things a little too much… and had to be escorted out of the premises. Hah.

As a side note, the next Soho Nights is this Tuesday 14 July !.

I don’t know too much about jazz so I can’t really give an analytical commentary on the entertainment, but even if you’re musically sceptical you will still enjoy the the grooves, funk and beats at the Ellington on a Saturday night, plus the artists are fun and engaging on stage.. Basically, I loved it.

So book a table. Now. Yes, Now. The late night series sits at 11.30pm, and you will be left out in the cold if you don’t pre-book a table.

Andaluz don’t hate you, but if you turn up looking like a whorish Julia Roberts they may ask you to please leave. They are swanky, so yes, they are very expensive. The place is on Howard Street in the CBD, down a small alley, which I have been sworn not to comment as ‘very Melbourne’. I don’t know exactly when they opened but it wasn’t more than a couple of months ago.

Andaluz already have a strong following with the central business crowd. A friend tried to get in on a Wednesday evening but was turned away because the venue was already full. My group only managed to get at table by showing up dead on 6pm Saturday when the bar opens (you can’t make reservations). By the time I arrived (late) at 6.30pm every other table was already taken. They’re popular with the mid to late 20’s crowd; the bouncer even gave me a ‘holy shit’ when he discovered I’m actually much older than a 1988 kid. Thanks for that, charming bouncer.

Food is all tapas and like all tapas outside of Spain it’s very expensive. Not the place for a large dinner. The dishes are nice though, and served confusingly fast. The drinks list is extensive and the cocktails are exceptional. I can only describe my espresso ‘mexican wave’ as ecstasy to my lips, minus the MDMA.

You’re in close quarters with everyone around you but the place feels cosy rather than cramped. If you have some cash to burn and want to have a bit of a wanky and indulgent evening I give Andaluz a tick. But as you get more and more tipsy keep your Julia Roberts hat on and keep in mind that it’s all very expensive.

Accompanying photo stolen from STM Magazine. Pretty Woman joke premise stolen from Ragan Fox.

The headlining set was just amazing, not just for the sheer funk of it all, but for bringing some much needed new music into Connections. It was also for this reason the night didn’t attract a typical Connections crowd. I spied ‘resident’ attendees of Shape and Republic, plus a crop of random others who I’m assuming discovered HMD from the posters plastered all over Northbridge.

Admittedly the crowd was somewhat sparse, but those who stuck around until the early hours were really getting into their nu-disco. I guess nobody appreciates your favourite type of music as much as you do, and I really love nu-disco, so it was shame the venue wasn’t packed out as it should have been. I point my spiteful index finger at you all and curse that you really missed out on some awesome tunes.

The catwalk show was a big gloating segment to show off some fun costumes, but seemed like a throwaway item. Actually, it agitated me that this 10 minute performance piece became the focal point for the entire evening. So much so that most of the models and ticketholders left when it finished, and before the Horse Meat Disco DJs had even played. A red flag also needs to be raised for that 1 metre x 1 metre ‘media only’ area at the end of the catwalk. How pretentious. Although, it did give my friendly arch nemesis Feminem Hygiene a good vantage point for demanding the photographers test their cameras on her… for 20 minutes. As a side note, Fem and I are back on speaking terms.

So, the conclusory comment for this event is ‘you really missed out’. The sound Horse Meat Disco brought won’t be replicated in Perth for a while yet. Connections have a number of disco nights coming soon, but I’m sceptical. From previous experience ‘disco’ to Perth gay venues means bastardised house music. It’s not the same thing. Lo and behold when I got in my car at the end of the night Triple J’s ‘The Club’ program were talking about how nu-disco is the latest fad in dance music. If it’s the latest overseas right now, it will be the latest in Perth in 12 months time.

I didn’t lug my SLR to Connections, and I didn’t try my luck with the media only area, but I did grab some nice photos of the catwalk show. See them all behind the cut: