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Viewing posts tagged ‘converting’

April 15

Absurd news bites…

preventing… from the last few days. Armies of homos on twitter went crazy over Amazon removing the sales rankings of gay literature items on their website. Amazon’s public relations department were busy taking sedatives and could only respond with “it’s a glitch” and mumbled something about their system for protecting children from inappropriate content, which made everyone even angrier.

This all happened over the weekend, and most sales rankings have since been restored. A hacker has also come forward to claim responsibility. I’m too busy focusing on what Amazon Xanax PR have called the incident: “embarrassing and ham-fisted”. Apparently ‘ham-fisted’ is a common American term for clumsy. But dammit, now I can’t stop thinking about what ham-fisting would involve.

In Poland a conservative politician criticised his local zoo for importing a gay elephant. Apparently this is news.

“We were supposed to have a herd, but as Ninio prefers male friends over females how will he produce offspring?” said Grzes, who is from the right-wing opposition Law and Justice party.

Well Grzes, you just need to find a lesbian elephant to act as the surrogate. Disclaimer: I did steal that joke from another website.

The head of the Poznan zoo said 10-year-old Ninio may be too young to decide whether he prefers males or females as elephants only reach sexual maturity at 14.

Poor elephant, only 10 years old and already being forced into a gender role.

rubyrose

Within Australia that lipstick lesbian kinda indie if you squint your eyes hard enough MTV VJ Ruby Rose is defending accusations she took a ham-fisting from a straight guy. Her convincing defense on twitter was that hooking up with a guy was just as likely as…

“an alien snowboarding in Iraq with a poodle”

ACTUAL QUOTE.


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