Tim Trainor spends every waking moment finding out what's all the gay rage in Perth right now. Events, culture and random bits and pieces from Perth, Australia.
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Viewing posts tagged ‘sex’
July 13
For the fantasy inclined
Winter is the best time to dress up because you can strip or layer as your heart desires without the sweat and sticky heat. SPANK! Productions have some awesome costume nights in the coming weeks. First, the next installment in the SHAMELESS! Series at Connections, ‘Mental Oriental’ (fb1 | fb2). This Saturday night - $10 before 1am, $20 thereafter.
I don’t know which tag line I like best: A night of sweet and sour eastern naughtiness! or Join the steamy throngs of Asia’s red light districts!. Either way, you’re going to get it on like a gangland geisha. Other dress ideas include lap dancers, ladyboys, ninjas, pole dancers, ping-pong artistes and Seoul sistas. I would LOVE to see some one dress up as a slutty ninja. I don’t exactly know how that would work but I’m sure it’s awesome. Your incentive to take on the slutty ninja challenge is the $250 prize which goes to the best dressed attendee.
If you like your dress up a little heavier, SPANK! are also putting on their next fetish and fantasy party: ‘Doctors and Nurses’ (web) on Saturday 22 August. The night will include a performance by top international fetish model Emily Marilyn, plus a Flesh Rubber ‘Medical Mayhem’ demo, Male Slave Strip, Dungeon, and Hysterical Healthchecks by Nurses Depravity & Deviance. I told you this dress up was a little heavier.
Unlike SHAMELESS!, the regular SPANK! parties have a very strict dress code so if you’re not in costume, no entry. Of course it’s an 18+ event and you’ll need to buy a ticket beforehand. All the details are on the SPANK! website.
July 2
News from the gutter
Incase you didn’t hear, I died. That’s why there were no updates for a week. But hey I have some juicy goss to mark my return.
If you were at The Court Wednesday night you would have witnessed a huge public discretion between a certain resident drag queen and a member of the audience. The conflict came from one side, and it didn’t involve your everyday drag banter; it was a full on verbal tirade with no regard for slander or libel laws or microphone volume. The amateur drag audience was all watching.
There’s a backstory to this incident and we can all learn a lesson from it: never become friends with benefits with a dried up drag queen, because later when you don’t feel like having sex with her anymore, she’ll try to blackmail you with those raunchy webcam videos you took. Then, if you try to blackmail her back, she’ll try to make a fool of you on stage at The Court (and fail). Man, I never would have expected such things in innocent ‘lil Perth.
xoxo Gossip Girl
May 24
Promiscuous ATM
Credit to Christopher M for this photo. This is the message the ATM in Connections Nightclub was displaying all weekend. Many people remain unaware that you can contract gonorrhoea and chlamydia in your throat. Looks like a scene boy has been inserting himself inside the cash chute.
May 14
Fun distractions
It’s so easy to laugh at other people’s pain when they’re all the way on the other side of the internet. That’s why I read the Ask Bossy blog. It’s the only decent thing on New Limited’s website. Take for example, I caught my boyfriend looking at she-males on the net… should we still get married? Ahhh….. for sure!
I heard strange noises coming from our study so I pushed opened the door and saw my fiance half naked getting himself off while looking at a porn site named: SheMales-YUM!
The fact some one put the effort into adding “YUM” to the title of that website brings it to a whole new level of funny. Don’t place any bets on that wedding, folks. Be sure to check out the equally entertaining I caught my boyfriend approaching men for sex… what should I do?. Do we really need to spell it out for you, hun?
A few newspapers have piped up that after Home and Away featured a lackluster lesbian kiss Neighbours is ‘copying’ them and doing their own homogametic pash. Problem is, Neighbours have already done the lesbian kiss plot line - twice already! Although, they’ve introduced a new element - this time it’s a lesbian asian person! For more info check out the website InterracialLesboKiss-YUM!
And to be my usual ranty self isn’t this a whole lot of double standard? When are we going to see hot, sexy, family friendly man-on-man pashing during crappy Aussie primetime soap operas? I want to see Harold get down daddy/son style with a barely 18 euro twink he met through manhunt by using a fake photo. Now that is actually real life.
Here is a previous lesbian kiss on Neighbours. I imagine deep within the Channel 10 studios there’s a whole vault full of unused gay kiss scenes that never went to air.
HEY! I can’t be all over Perth all at once so if there is something cool you think would fit in on the blog please email it to me. Doesn’t have to be gay 
May 6
do you think strap ons are groovy?
Dedicated to all my lesbian readers who like Tegan and Sara.
May 2
spank me shameless in detention at connections
So, we’ve had women in uniform, and a gay fairy tale prom… it really is time to turn up the slut-o-meter and get kinky with our Perth dress up events. Introducing DETENTION at Connections on the 9th May.
Now stick with me while I explain all of these names: DETENTION is the first night in a new series of events called SHAMELESS run by Spank! Productions. Got that? If you received your Connections Communique this week you will know the DETENTION launch night is going with a kinky schoolyard theme:
We want to see some buffed up jocks, cute teachers pets, dominating headmistresses, nerds with attitude and plenty of sluts on the strutt
Not to blow my own trumpet but I fall into ALL of those categories. Dress up events go down well this time of year as the nights get cooler and you can wear more clothes but still be a slut about it. So come along, and come early - doors open at 8.00pm. And whatever you do, don’t wear that same white shirt and black tie you wore to gay prom… at least put a bondage collar or leather crotchless chaps on. It’s more fun that way - plus there’s a prize for best dressed.
If you’ve already discovered your hedonistic side and enjoy some good quirky fun, Spank! Productions also put on regular fetish and fantasy parties. These are gay-friendly nights where individual imagination and diversity is encouraged, and it’s not just about leather and BDSM. Check out the Spank! website or Facebook group for more.
April 29
Full-blown idiocy
I’m going on an overseas holiday at the end of the month, and have been shopping around for travel insurance. If you’ve ever wandered through an insurance PDS it’s very heavy reading. However the policy I’m going with has a very prominent medical exclusion:
I thought ‘full-blown AIDS’ was just a joke from Family Guy, not a real term. Honestly, who underwrote this thing? What is the difference between AIDS and ‘full-blown AIDS’? I’m sorry, but some douche who doesn’t understand the difference between HIV and AIDS underwrote this PDS.
That’s my rant. But seriously.
April 17
My immature mind
Photo taken at Harbourtown. I thought the tops would be more expensive since there’s less of them on the scene. No sale price for versatiles.
April 13
Connections backroom spread open and exposed
On Thursday night the mystery of the Connections mens only backroom was revealed! I popped along to the event (for research purposes only) and snapped this photo of what was going on inside:
Just kidding. I don’t actually have any photos because there really wasn’t all that much happening in there. For the most part it was a revolving door of gays entering, exclaiming “ewwwww”, sometimes staying for a few nervous giggles then leaving. The light was so low all I could see were the edges of shoulders and jeans thrusting in unknown directions. Very few people. I didn’t see any condoms being handed out… hrm.
Now that we’re over the back room anticlimax some other points of the night. Great music but pills were being popped in every direction and it got a tad annoying having to scrape across gurners. There was a strip show (above) but you know, the stipper looked pretty damn bored, if not uncomfortable. I wonder if he gets so many female hands molesting him when he walks through a crowd at a hens night.
For the rest of the weekend I have been in an ethanol induced stupor, here’s me drunk off my ass doing a whirlwind media tour and showing the website to a lecture hall of thousands of ethnographic research academics. Not one of them was opposed to entering a back room, I swear.
Upcoming things you should be interested in:
- The April WAX Magazine is out. Apparently there is a really good article about some blogging media whore being punched in the head for being gay.
- The Glamfest movie festival starts this Wednesday night!
- Pride WA wants more members, you get a 50% discount off
backroomConnections admission if you join. - The Uni of Queensland is doing a study on the relationships of same sexers which you should participate in. It’s kind of more important than a “what type of greeting card are you” quiz on facebook. I’m a sympathy card.
April 7
Easter festivities
Easter seems to be one of those rare times the two gay venues in Perth actually show a little competition over each other. The big one for the guys is the mens only night on Thursday at Connections.
Yes, to celebrate the eve of the day our beloved Jesus Christ died, there’s gonna be an all out debaucherous man-on-man romp. But the biggest draw for this is not the music, drinks or even the guys: It’s these curious “backrooms” that keep being mentioned.
When this event was first advertised Connections said “nothing less than boys, backrooms and bad behaviour”, which immediately grabbed everyone’s attention… how exactly were there going to be backrooms in Connections? Are they going to be private booths? Do you get an allocated time slot (or timed slut)? Perhaps they’re just going to put some clear shower curtains over the front of the toilet cubicles.
BUT THEN!… the next week the email flyer changed to not just backrooms, but also “muscle boy strippers, a down and dirty bunker out on our terrace and of course a boys business backroom”. woOowooOO.
Well that clears up the mystery of the backrooms - they are strictly for drug business deals only, but what the hell is a ‘down and dirty bunker’? Where are they going to fit all of this stuff in the nightclub? On the Jesus weekend all will be revealed!
This is the part where I bag the Court… hardly surprising coming from me but their offerings for the Easter weekend are pretty weak. They’ve decided to combat backrooms and dirty bunkers with an ‘after work easter egg hunt’. Hrm. I’m not really buying it. I don’t know if I want to be touching every sticky and seedy surface in that place trying to find an egg full of sugar and saturated fat.
Saturday and Sunday at the Court is just the usual fair, with some chocolate cocktails (which I’m 99% sure they do anyway) and some ‘easter egg games’ thrown in. Rock on.
For the womyn Connections is doing a Pussy Punked girls night on Sunday which includes a bunch of female vocalists and live graffiti artists, which sounds pretty cool. Stupid superficial gay men wanting anonymous sex instead of street art… maybe I can attempt to get in wearing drag.
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